MEET THE FACE BEHIND ADHD 101

My journey with ADHD was an accidental one which started when I realized I was different from all of the other neurotypical kids, It involved being bullied perpetually, chronic porn addiction, being a perpetual loner in school, chronic video-game abuse and a life that was anything but extraordinary it was simply a meaningless existence that leads me to nowhere. My first diagnosis of ADHD came as early as the age of 5 when they thought I would be born with a low-intelligence or be born with a permanent mental handicap and when the first words of ADHD were mentioned at the age of 6, I recall a perpetual desire to be normal but never quite meeting the requirement of normal.

​

​

 

​

​

​

​

​

For most of my life, I was a failure and I am still a failure but less of a failure because I have dedicated my life to the single thing that robbed me of my childhood, robbed me of years of my life, created perpetual addictions, caused me to suffer suicidal thoughts, almost made me drop out of school, caused me to be a loner and made me feel inadequate about myself because I was told my entire life that I was neurotypical when I wasn't.

 

For most of my life, I felt like I was walking blind through life, like a blind person constantly walking into things and being called stupid for my blindness, when in reality I was truly different.  I remember the days of obsessing for hours and hours every day desiring being neurotypical but never knowing why I could never be one. I remember battling the constant boredom that drilled through my mind, the constant inability to finish anything, being consistently inconsistent in everything that I did, and the inability to stick with what I started then I knew that something was different about me and I knew that I would figure it out or I would waste every last day of my 20,000 days allotted to me to this singular task.

 

My ADHD journey was one about battling my own porn addiction, battling lack of confidence, never feeling like I was enough, perpetually stuck in a world of video-games to make up for what I couldn't be in the real world, secretly in my mind I wanted to more than what I was. My video-games and porn addictions was my way of escaping to a world, where I had control, where I could escape the fucking garbage of my life precisely because I never knew what was wrong with me.

 

My journey involved the singular moment of taking my first dose of Ritalin as the start of the journey in realizing my latent potential, in realizing the conceptions that were beyond my limits precisely because of the implicit limits of my own cognition caused through the means and the mechanisms of under-arousal. In high-school, I remember being a high school outcast, I'd drug myself with 14 hours of games and 7 mores hour of porn to numb myself for the horrible boredom and under-arousal that was constantly felt,  it was like a gnawing sensation. Somedays I'd go to the library and simply sit by myself and attempt to read books but couldn't even finish them, I wasn't smart, I had no girlfriend, I had no job, I had no friends I was just a fucking loser who amounted to nothing. Their had been many periods in high school where I had tried to get my life-together but it never seemed to amount to anything.  I simply went back and forth between drugs, games and addiction for my own problems and in my world this was normal.  

 

The world of productivity, of normal neurotypical life, of working a job were all beyond my comprehension and understanding and somewhere in the back of my mind, their was always a thought in my head that I should be more than what I was. In fact, I could not silence the voice, it would always come back harder and harder and the fight between the evil me and good me would continue and it still continues to this very day to do the right thing. In the moments, when my conscience had seen the devastation that had been laid in my wake, from the damage ADHD had caused myself, those around me only then did I realize that this was not just a terminology, it was not just some illusionary condition, no their was much more than I could ever conceive or even think possible.

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

 

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

For my only prerogative, was to make the most of my one life and the only logical action was to maximize my ADHD functioning and to serve others and to create a community by which we could work together and solve this problem until it was solved.  If I was to die tomorrow and I had solved this thing which has made me feel ashamed of who I was, made me perpetually drugged or addicted to things beyond my control, destroyed relationships, cost me thousands of dollars and much more, then my life would be complete.

 

For, the single problem was that their was no map, no road plan on how to handle or resolve all and every conceivable issue of ADHD in such a way that maximized our cognition instead most ADHD people live our lives guessing, constantly and perpetually making sub-optimal decisions, causing divorces, health damage, mental-damage, low-self-esteem precisely, because no one has taken the time to catalogue every conceivable aspect of this condition and organize the information into an optimized system, by which we have an optimized response for every outcome.

 

If I had known what I know now, I could have easily averted the catastrophe of my childhood and teenage years, I could have graduated on time, met my first girlfriend much earlier, avoided porn addiction and video-game addiction before it could happen, I could have built my companies so much earlier, I could have started the journey of being who it I wanted to become, If I had the foresight and understanding of my pathetic lowly existence of struggle that I had come from.

 

 

 

 

 

 

​

​

This is my purpose, to provide you the guidance that I never had and in doing so , you will not have to walk through an ADHD life in a perpetual fog, rather you will have a road map of knowing what to do and when you know what to do, you won't have to live an inferior life to neurotypicals, rather you will live superior to equivalent life-outcomes in all terms of social, emotional, cultural, socio-economic, sexually, emotionally, in all conceivable aspects ADHD will no longer be a limiting factor towards your existence, rather we shall transcend these limits, or I will die trying.

 

One day, I realized that the solutions would never come unless someone took the initiative, unless something was done, or else you and I would live a meaningless life and be a victim of ADHD as nothing more than a statistic. Therefore, Your prerogative and our initiative is quite simple - solve ADHD to where it will never be a problem ever again, precisely because we have One life.  

 

There are 30,065 days in one life and I have 20,550 days left to change the course before I die and I intend to make those days count before I am dead forever. Therefore, ADHD  and solving it is the only logical outcome because anything less will be a waste of our life, we cannot afford ADHD ignorance, we must push the bounds of everything that we do, lest our efforts fall to the way-side.

 

I remember days, of having to take the bus, of never having enough food to eat, of having constant thoughts in my head that wouldn't go away, I remember moments of my mind telling to kill myself, I remember being stranded in Nevada and left to rot in the desert, I remember being fired from my first job because I was different, I remember being told that I was lazy, I remember being rejected socially because I was a “problem”, I remember staring at the sky my junior year in high school looking at the bus feeling inadequate about who I was as I watched happy people live, their lives while I battled my inner addictions  and I asked myself why I couldn't be happy like the neurotypicals?

 

I remember,  collapsing in exhaustion everyday trying my hardest but it was never enough, I remember staring at my beautiful fish-tank to only see all the fish-dead once again for the 4th time in a row because I had lost interest and I didn't know why.  I remember being interim suspended from my university for attempting to help myself but it never being enough. I remember all my pain and suffering and my desire for revenge and I remember the inner hate that stills fuels, my soul it fuels me because I will never forget the pain and suffering I've had to go through to get to this point. 

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

 

I will never ever let anyone go to that place ever again, Never again. Not me, Not anyone. I would rather die and when you are in that fucking place, the place of absolute despair, someone will help you, I will help you and give my soul if needed because the journey of solving ADHD is greater than me or you; it's about saving the dignity of people who have lost their lives from a brain that wouldn't pay attention.

 

This polemic is not about demonstrating, not explaining, but the initiative shall be to create permanent solutions to ADHD so no one ever again will ever suffer from what I had gone through, not my friend, not my son and not my daughter, Never Ever.

 

This is my journey, this is my purpose and this is the journey of reclaiming your destiny that was stolen for you, ADHD shall be transcended to a world you couldn't conceive off.